This story actually happened to me. I was walking home from the bar, rather inebriated when a fellow booze aficionado came across my path.
‘Gis a smoke, ya cunt!’ he said, rather wittily.
‘I don’t fucking smoke, big lad,’ I jovially replied.
‘Gis a smoke or I’ll glass you with this!’ he said, as he presented an almost finished pint of beer.
‘How about, go fuck yourself?’ I offered.
My new friend didn’t like this suggestion and thrust his pint into my mouth and chin. I immediately felt sorry for my new friend’s impotent mind because the guy actually tried to glass me with a plastic glass. I was a little shocked to say the least, but soon regained my composure. I apologised for spilling what was left of his beer, we shook hands and parted company as those who may never remember meeting. What’s the moral of the story? Public education has gone to shit and it’s probably everyone else’s fault except mine. So there.